Saint EternalBlue, Escaped From the Arsenal

Patron of forgotten SMBv1 servers, lost digital weapons, and sysadmins who postponed March's update.

Life

Born in the NSA's arsenals, he was made public by the Shadow Brokers on 14 April 2017. He struck SMBv1, Windows' old file-sharing protocol, and allowed remote code execution without credentials. Microsoft had already published the cure a month earlier in bulletin MS17-010, but many had not installed it: in May came WannaCry, in June NotPetya, and the world learned what a postponed update costs.

Prayer

O Saint EternalBlue, who passed from the arsenal to the town square, let our servers never speak SMBv1 again, and let March's patches be installed by April. Amen.

How to celebrate

Celebrated by installing MS17-010, disabling SMBv1, and closing port 445 to the internet.

A weapon lost is a plague found.