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Saint Chronomaly, Lord of the Timers
Patron of those with a race condition always pending and zombie processes that don't know they're dead.
Life
He lived deep in the Linux kernel, among the POSIX CPU timers. When a process died without being reaped, its timer could still fire while the parent was clearing away the remains: one moment too many, and freed memory came back to life. He was exploited in targeted attacks on Android before the world knew his name, and in early 2026 a researcher told the story of his passion in instalments.
Prayer
O Saint Chronomaly, who dwells in the instant between check and use, grant us locks taken properly and timers cancelled in time. Amen.
How to celebrate
Celebrated by updating the kernel and, by tradition, arriving at every appointment exactly one tick late.
Time waits for no thread, and a racing thread waits for no one.